By Grace Allen

A yearly luncheon hosted by Gilly’s House invites grieving mothers to gather, reflect, and learn how to move forward after the death of a child. Mothers who have lost a child for any reason are invited to attend the free event held each November, before the start of the holiday season. 

The most recent luncheon was held on November 18, 2024, at the Chabad Jewish Center in Milford. Attendees came from all over Massachusetts, as well as New Hampshire.

The food was prepared by Rebbetzin Rochy Kivman. Rabbi Mendy Kivman, the leader of the Chabad Jewish Center, opened with a blessing. The event also included goody bags for all participants, and raffles.

 

The luncheon’s underlying theme was “moving forward,” said Barbara Gillmeister, co-founder of Gilly’s House. She added that many mothers who have lost a child need a way to shift their approach to grief. 

“Everybody grieve differently,” she said, “but I’ve met so many mothers who are stuck in their grief process, even years later.” She notes that the shared experience of mothers gathering together can be very powerful.

Barbara Gillmeister, along with her husband David, founded Gilly’s House in memory of their son Steven, who passed away from a drug overdose in 2016. Gilly’s House is a sober home for young men who have completed treatment but now need a place to continue their recovery

The luncheons have featured speakers who demonstrate ways to cope and find new purpose after losing a child. On November 18, the special guest speaker was Pat Elsberry, author of “Beautifully Broken: Finding Hope During Loss.” Elsberry lost her 38-year-old daughter to substance use disorder in 2020.

Tying into Elsberry’s book, during the luncheon the mothers participated in the Japanese art form known as “kintsugi,” which teaches how to repair broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dust or gold. Kintsugi symbolizes that adversity can turn something broken into something beautiful and resilient.

“It’s a reminder to stay optimistic when things fall apart and to celebrate the flaws and missteps of life,” said Maureen Cappuccino, the house administrator at Gilly’s House, and one of the luncheon organizers.

“We hope when moms leave the luncheon they are able to take even a baby step towards doing something positive in memory or honor of their child,” said Gillmeister. “Everyone’s grief journey is different, but we have found that doing something to help others, while it may help to keep you busy, is a way to make you feel needed and bring about the beginning of a new road that may be parallel to one’s grief, but much needed to have a sense of self-worth.”

Sponsors of the mother’s luncheon included Kim Williams Real Estate Sales; Robert Roofing & Gutters; SK Services; H &M Excavating, Inc./Plainville Oil; Michelle Pozner; Wrentham Co-Operative Bank; and KJP Life & Leadership Coaching.

For more information about Gilly’s House, or to be put on a mailing list for next year’s luncheon, visit www.gillyshouse.com or call 508-384-2251.